I recently rediscovered Beardyman. He’s a very talented beatbox champion, with a comedic twist that makes him a great performer.

Be sure to check out his stand-up bit that starts around 12:20 in the following vid, made me crack up…

Pebble Beach, Southsea, Oct 2008

A couple of months back I got an email request via my Flickr account from Schmap.com asking if they could include one of my photo’s in their next update. I rarely say no when politely asked for permission so I happily followed the link and approved it.

I just got a follow-up email from them saying the update had gone live and did indeed include that photo. However, it’s just wrong, so very very wrong.

The photo is of the beach at Southsea taken from the pier. It’s a pebble beach. It’s tagged with both “southsea” and “pebble beach” and the title is “Southsea beach“.

The article they’ve put this photo on is about … you guessed it, Pebble Beach, Monterey and Carmel. All I can assume is that no actual person has reviewed it before being published. I just hope the photo doesn’t put people off visiting Pebble Beach – I can assure you it’s nothing like Southsea.

I’ve taken a screenshot of the page because I fully expect them to remove it if they ever see this post. Gotta love lazy editors!

Schmap.com editorial failure, Jan 2009

I love Dilbert, always have. Sometime it hits a particular nail right on the head. Today’s is a great example.

Experience is gained by experiencing stuff, not by being told what it’s like. You can tell a kid a thousand times that they’ll hurt themselves if they fall off the wall, but they have to do it themselves to really get it and it doesn’t just apply when you’re young. The best lessons are learnt by falling on your head!

Now go take a walk along a wall.

Occasionally the PHP-General mailing list encounters questions that really ought to have been asked elsewhere. Yesterday was one such occasion.

The question…

Hi

I know these is PHP mail list but also most active group i know is these
the Q is How to compile Delphi from source code in bothe linux or windows ?

[http://marc.theaimsgroup.com/?l=php-general&m=116578976301049&w=2]

My one word reply to this was “Speechless”. The response I got back had me chuckling for a while after I read it, so I posted it back to the list…

OK, I guess I should apologise to the OP in advance, but I just had to
share this response…eqla3.com eqla3.com wrote:
> thanks but i have googled for it but there is no compiler called
> Speechless

-Stut

[http://marc.theaimsgroup.com/?l=php-general&m=116579542920232&w=2]

At least one person appreciated it.

It would appear that Verizon doesn’t know the difference between 0.002 cents and 0.002 dollars. This phonecall is extremely scary. Repeat after me… cents * number = cents. If you believe Verizon… cents * number = dollars.

The most frightening comment has to be from the ‘manager’… “I’ve never heard of .002 dollars”.

If BT were doing this it would be on Watchdog before you could say ‘dunce’.

Update: The guys blog is here: http://verizonmath.blogspot.com/. Looks like he got a full refund from Verizon. The blog also points to the full recording, which is 1 hour 34 minutes long! This guy stayed amazingly calm given the circumstances.

If this is real it’s very frightening…

[20/11/2006] Update: Can’t find anything conclusive, but there is a discussion of this note in the alt.folklore.urban newsgroup.

Ok, this was just posted to the PHP-General mailing list and me chuckle.

http://marc.theaimsgroup.com/?l=php-general&m=113713669601315&w=2

Because who would have thought you’d get spam from sending your email address to a public mailing list with several thousand subscribers and tens of archives around the net. Remember… ignorance is not a defence!

Probably the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time…

http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=147501&cid=12357985

Guaranteed to protect you from all forms of malicious software…

This bloke walks into a public toilet where he finds two cubicles, one of which is already occupied. He enters the vacant stall, closes the door, drops his trousers and sits down.A voice then comes from the cubicle next to him “Hello mate, how`s it going?”

Thinking this a bit strange but not wanting to be rude the chap replies “Yeh, not too bad thanks.”

After a short pause, he hears the voice again “So, what are you up to then mate?”

Again, answering reluctantly, and unsure what to say, he replies “Amm, just having a quick poo. How about yourself?”

He then hears the voice for the 3rd time… “Listen mate I’m sorry, I’ll have to call you back, I’ve got some madman in the next cubicle answering all my questions!”

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?”

The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he’d sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars.
Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”

So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?”

The mother replied, “Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!”

The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?”

The girl replied, “Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?”

The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?”

Of course,” the brother replied. “Do you know how much a million could buy?”

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?”

The boy replied, “Yes, Sir. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but Realistically we’re living with two sluts and a queer!!

Thanks Lenn.